Raavan is best described as a delectable morsel only though…if you were an aged vulture. It was dead… I wanted to append that phrase with more vocabulary but those three words encapsulate my thoughts in full. My disclaimer is also the very truth – I am a die hard Mani Ratnam fan… but a lot of us variety morphed into merely dying fans after this offering.
As we sat through the despair and excruciating disappointment of the first half, another poor sod from the back benches consoled his dear with the words… “Don’t worry the second half is great”. I suppose the subconscious in trained to latch on to any straw of hope, spit in your direction when faced with inevitable doom. We latched on to that statement and as the second half unfolded… renaissance was left shunned as we were subjected to more mental molestation.
In the end, it did not matter anymore… the theatre embarked on a self help and self heal trip, the squeal of ‘Sita’ or the vagaries of ‘Hanuman’ were drowned by the multiple conversations that dawned as defense mechanisms against the silver screen’s tirade. It became a gathering, a party, except for the fact that we sat chained to our seats, we chatted, joked and argued as one would in happier times.
Let’s now analyse individual performances… yes I did drug myself before I said that!
Mr. Raavan A.K.A Abhishek Bachchan’s performance was a distressing comeuppance juxtaposed with, desperation reverberating through the annals and the echelons of the throng. In simpler words, it stank! His suave appearance and distinct pedigree should have been best left at home to portray the role of an eccentric evil man. His evilness should have defied logic or need, Heath Ledger’s depiction of the same was scintillatingly effective in ‘The Dark Knight’. Abhishek failed… his eccentricity was more comic than frightening, it soon became a burden that we had to live with, similar to the cartoon segments in ‘Hum Tum’. One felt extremely satiated that this character did not come with ten heads!
Moving on quickly to Mr. Ram A.K.A Vikram, he was a personification of the famous Stonehenge in UK with a moustache in need of a mower and a Ray Ban bought off the sticky peddler at any Indian traffic signal, equally boring and one is yet to discover why it exists?!? By the last scene, when the whole of the Indian police force ‘encounters’ Beera A.K.A Raavan A.K.A Abhishek, one strongly wishes that Vikram also was caught in some friendly fire!
Mrs. Sita A.K.A Aishwarya Rai Bachchan must have contracted pneumonia if not at least a bad cold as she was under or over water for most of her role. Being fair, she did her best to showcase bewilderment, love, despair, ecstasy, sorrow, anguish, shock and strength but well the fact is that a miracle needs to happen for India to win the soccer world cup, so one is left feeling sorry for her until a catalytic moment plummets her into the group above… Let me depict probably the funniest shot in the movie…Sita rushes to a police officer (Lakshman A.K.A Nikhil Dwivedi), denuded, tonsured, beaten and buried unto his neck in the ground and cradles his head in her soft hands and shrieks – ‘are you okay?’. I earned for an audience with the princess of Bollywood to shriek… if she was!
A quick mention of Mr. Hanuman A.K.A Govinda and Mr. Vibheeshan A.K.A Ravi Kishen, quick only because they excelled in their marginal roles and do not deserve to be paraded with the above notoriety or included in this caustic review. Govinda was remarkable to bring his trustworthy steed called ‘comic timing’ as a catalyst to his otherwise miniscule role. Ravi Kishen emoted like this was his role of a lifetime, both probably poignant displays of gratitude for being chosen by Mr. Ratnam himself to participate in his opus, I dare say.
Finally, Surpanaka A.K.A Priyamani, who has a growing fan base for the wrong reasons, showed us all that she can act and act well at that, one only wished that Ramayana had a larger role for the sister…it might have paused the fall for a bit.
Talking about pausing the fall (or should we promote that word to THUD), the cinematography and visuals were breathtaking; Manikandan and Santosh Sivan have added another feather to their caps. There have been numerous movies with the Indian wild as the background but none more an ambassador than Raavan. It is a great tourism advert for our forest department; maybe they can pay to help reduce the losses that numerous distributors and theatre owners have repeatedly incurred (remember Kites!)
Oh! How dare I miss out on our Oscar winning musical maestro Padma Bhushan A.R. Rahman. His ensemble was intriguing to say the least… Gulzar, Ratnam & Rahman is a potent combination and possibly if one listens to the songs with eyes closed, they sound terrific. ‘Beera Beera’ and ‘Thok De Killi’ reminded me of Dil Se, I truly can’t say why! And what does Thok De Killi mean anyway? My indepth research found me the phrase ‘The last nail in the coffin’?!? If that really is the meaning, its pretty amusing but very apt message to the audience! ‘Behene De’ and ‘Ranjha Ranjha’ stand out as the best dishes or maybe my ears were earning for something soothing; ‘Kata Kata’ and ‘Khili Re’ were nice but more fillers.
The success of the audio album is pretty deserved. Gun to my head if I have to choose the best song, I will have to go with ‘Ranjha Ranjha’… who knows, it might win Raavan its only award!
I hate to admit it but Mr. Ratnam lost this one... but one single strand of failure in a thicket of successes can be forgotten and ignored… maybe it was a case of 23rd time unlucky! I remain one amongst his millions of fans, awaiting his next attempt ardently.
Mr. Ratnam, just a humble suggestion for your next venture from another nobody…. Do you know of a certain Mr. Aamir Khan?
